fuckyeahrandombeatles
The Future, Back Then…
-1964-
*GEORGE’S PHONE RINGS*
*RING RING*
*RING RING*
*RING RING*
*RIN-**George picks up*
G: Hello, Liverpool Downtown Morgue, you kill ‘em, we chill ‘em.
P: Hey, George, it’s Paul. Just wondering if you’re refrigerator is running.
G: *Rolls eyes* Yes, Paul. My refrigerator is running.
P: *Holds back a burst of laughing through his nose* Hfkkffhhk…
G: Look, whadju want?
P: Okay, so I got this new phone.
G: Here we go….
P: No, no. Listen! It can allow me to get two other people on the line while I’m still on with you!
G: Shit off.
P: Nawh, it’s straight up.
G: *huff* Paul, if this is some joke that you’ve concocted where I believe you about something for 5 minutes, somehow everything goes black and I wake up in the middle of the ocean, looking down on 3 jelly fish below my legs, with a dress on, lipstick drawings on my shoulders, two pounds stuffed in my mouth, pain in my head AND my ARSE and-
P: Okay okay okay okay okay! George, that was a long night after a gig, we all had 40 Pixi Stix and…….wait. When was *this*?
G: Yesterday.
P: Oh
G: Yeah….
P: Hmm.
G: Uhuh.
P: *Humming ‘Yesterday”
G: PAUL!
P: ..sorry.
G: Okay, so….go on then, show me.
P: Right. *clicking noise*
G: Dadumdadum….
P: *Ringing* George, you still there?
G: Yes. Wow, is it calling someone, then?
P: Yep yep.
J: Hello, there, Winefred’s dungeon of sexual leisure, Candy speaking.
P: Haha, John, very good.
J: Oh…um *clears throat*….I um…
G: Hi John! I’m on another line!
J: What?
G: Paul got a “new phone”. It can call four telephone lines at once.
J: Lawl.
Paul: What!?
J: I said “lawl”
G: What’s “lawl”?
J: Like L-O-L. It’s short for “Laugh out loud”
G: Whatever.
J: OOH! Call Ringo! Call Ringo!
P: *Ringing is heard*
R: Mr. Shoe’s Gardening Services
P: Hello, hello Ringo! You’re on with the others.
J: O-M-G
G: John….what the f**k?
J: What?
R: Huh?
J: Oh My Goodness?
P: Why the f**k are you…
J: WTF its internet jargon, Paul. Get with it.
P: Fuck you. I don’t even know what an *interknot* is. No one does.
J: INTERNET. STFU, PAUL.
P: *sound of a fist punching a wall*
R: Lads….you won’t believe this, but….I just won a lifetime supply of hotdogs.
J: I believe you, mate. I sawr your tweet.
R: Right? Hash tagging #lifetimeofhotdogs
G: Sooooo confuuuused…
R: Why are Paul and George such nubs?
J: Idk.
P: Anyway…
R: *Yelling into a spinning fan* LLAAAAAAaaAAAAAAaaaAAAaaaAAaaaA!!!!!!!
G: I could go for a hot dog.
P: But it’s Monday, George. Monday. *Monday*
G: Um….no. I’m too hungry, I’m gonna *distracted by Ringo yelling into the fan*
R: LaaAAaAaAaAArrrrrrRRRRRGAAAANANANANA. Makes me voice sound funny. Haha!
J: *facepalm*
P: John, if you don’t stop, I’ll *have* to kill you.
R: LLLAAA-OHH! *A disturbing sound is heard*
G: What happened Ringo?
R: OH JESUS. MY NOSE GOT STUCK IN THE FAN
P: Oh shit, okay. Ringo, get off the line so I can call and get you rushed to the hospital.
G: Be sure to put pressure on it.
J: Ringo is getting rushed to the hospital a lot lately.
G: Really? I ‘aven’t noticed.
R: *click*
P: *calls 999*
999: 999.What’s your emergency?
P: Um, my friend just stuck his nose in a fan, and he had a bit of an accident. Blood all over the place. He’s at 92 Stillworth.
999: Pardon, sir?
P: 92 Stillworth.
999: No, the accident. I haven’t quite the idea what you’re talking about.
P: I don’t understand.
J: Hai 999. Listen, k? We’re not n00bs, here, we’re tryin’ to tell you ppl you’ve g2g to 92 Stillworth, despite the lulz of the whole situation, we’d totes luv you to fix our BFFL Ringo’s nose.
999: Got you, got you. K, thanxbai *click*
G: *mouth stuffed with hot dog* So…*smacking lips*…we should all go out tonight.
P: I have enough for a lager with lime. Or fifty Pixi Stix.
G: No.
J: Pixi ftw.
P: *click*
:::::::::::::::Moral of the story?:::::::::::::::
